Thursday, August 26, 2010

2010-08-26 2300 Zulu; Battalion SitRep

Report Filed By: Gen. A. Kusamoto
Priority: Moderate
Classification: Secret
Batallion Status: Green
**Begin Trans**

Col. Katsuko deserves congratulations from the rest of our company on her latest achievement, namely promotion to the highest levels of Azerothian competence. However, since this milestone earlier in the week, she has only slowed down long enough to pull some new clothes, a knife, and a strange-looking orb (which, she informs me, has already been replaced with some terribly boring book) out of her footlocker. She seems absolutely driven to make it to Icecrown and Arthas' Frozen Throne in support of the rest of the battalion. While her singleminded zealotry is admirable, we all find it vaguely terrifying. Col. Tsurii even baked her a cake and had signs printed up ("Congratulations, Slacker") as a celebratory gesture, but she begged off saying something about the "twice-damned sons of Ho'Dir" needing her to do something. I swear I heard her mutter something about "waxing their helmets," but I really didn't care to listen past that. Tsurii just seemed amused in a knowing way.

Speaking of , after being unceremoniously stopped cold in his ICC advance by an entity known as the Blood Queen, Tsurii has performed a temporary retrograde action back to Dalaran in an effort to rally his boys and support Katsuko's drive. He did, however, manage to requisition new gear from an officer of the Ashen Verdict, as well as raid the Alliance's resupply and assault frigate for these. One of the creations of the Lich King's Lieutenant, Professor Putricide, apparently had no further use for this, either. While the remainder of his equipment is strictly standard issue, allied forces have reported that his conduct and performance under fire have been exemplary.

Sadly, the pressures and resposibilities of command have left me more-or-less stationed in Undercity for the foreseeable future. This is a delicate time for the Army, and I cannot ignore my post to go gallivanting off to the Arathi Highlands like some common mercenary. There are campaigns to plan, supplies to distribute, families whose loved ones Katsuko has set on fire to apologize to (cultists have mothers...huh...who knew?), then those same families to apologize to again after Tsurii ate a few of their cousins- ["OMNOMNOM! heehee!" "Dude, shut up! I'm recording here!" "Sorry, boss...say, does this clown taste funny to you?" "*sigh*They don't pay me enough for this..."]...where was I...oh, Dalaran city guardsmen to bribe...err...motivate, and plenty of new recruits to interview (although the Tauren that is convinced she is a Paladin and the very devout-if eccentric-Goblin flummox me). Our Army strengthens, and soon we shall be strong enough to not only push the last remnants of the Lich King's forces from our world forever, but also survive the cataclysm you have often spoken of. **END TRANS**

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