Tuesday, October 12, 2010

2010 1013 2306 Zulu SitRep

Hi, boss. Tsurii here. Our fearless leader, Gen. Kusamoto Esq. P.h.D. III, is slightly...um...indisposed. Therefore, I will be doing our semi-regular checkin with you. And boy, there have been some seriously jacked up things happeing in Azeroth. It started this morning when I jumped out of bed, ready to go kill in the name of good and fun...and because I really, really needing something to die. But the Sunreaver guard someone decided to post at the door to my crypt said I had to stop. Something about "the fundamental nature of the immaterium intruding on our rational world" or some such load of kodoshite. I was flummoxed for a moment, but then made the connection: Patch day. The patch. The big one you and our ambiguously gay commanding officer have been discussing. Chaos, disorder, magnetic polar reversal, dogs and cats living together, they are FINALLY coming here.

I can't wait.

But anywho...a lot has been going on with the team over the past few weeks. Firstly, we have a new recruit! He's a cousin of mine who dabbles in the dark arts...for informational and entertainment purposes only, of course. And for the sheer joy of tearing puppies into tiny shreds to summon elemental demons. Oh, and he has no eyes, but that doesn't stop him from doing some serious (spoiler alert! spoiler alert! heehee!) Book of Eli asswhuppin. 'Course...I'm better. I can do it without the blueberry...or the hocusy-pokusy frou-frou stuff. I gave him Katsuko's old clothes and staff so that he can get through the old world a little faster...plus, now he smells like a girl, which I find amusing. Hey, I'm dead; I get my laughs where I can.

Speaking of the girl, Katsuko was a little...um...miffed when she found out that a few of our buddies from Demon Knights rolled up and smoked His Licheyness a few weeks back. Miffed enough that she completely vanished for awhile. Not sure what's eating that kid. I mean, maggots are eating me, but I don't think that's her problem. But, she showed back up a few days ago with a lot of high-level gear and a very determined set to her pretty little jaw. It was hard to see behind her sparkly-new Hannibelle Lector Faceshield(TM), but I think it was determined.

As for me, I haven't had the chance to raid the remains of the Icecrown Empire State Building recently, but I did manage to find an armor vendor that had a belt better than the stupid girdle of "I'm wearing purples and you're not nyah nyah nyah" I yanked off the Black Knight's corpse almost a year ago. And I finally...finally...after going through it 500 times or so, got that whitchamacalit of souls in the forge to give up his shiny. 'Bout damned time.

Other than that, I'd been busy busting a move on Coren Direbrew once a day for almost two weeks. And you know what? HE DIDN'T DROP SHIT I COULD USE! Not one goddamned thing that was fun or needed. My groups must have summoned 300 barmaids and had a huge orgy the number of times I saw that stupid thing fall off his belt. His tankard? Shattered in a million pieces. The ram? Yeah, one of the Death Knights ate it. The Kodo rampaged and trampled all the dark iron dwarves in the hall next door after the troll accidentally gored it with one of his long-ass tusks. And yet, Kats' first run? The watch dropped for her.


Is Tsurii gonna' haveta' choke a bitch?

As far as fearless, and probably sexually deviant, leader goes...he's still stuck in the Badlands running Marudon and Uldaman over and over and over and...well, you get the idea. He's apparently seen enough cactus, coyotes, and buzzards to last him a good long while. I didn't tell him about Hellfire Penninsula...figured I'd let him find that one out for himself *evil laugh*

Well, that's all for now. My patch is done and I'm off to kill in the name of justice. And loot. OK, mostly loot. Late...

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